


hangman

by cachu



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Slow Build, War, it's pretty mundane now though, plus it's a war so it might get a bit heavy. so i need to account for that, take these tags with a pinch of salt for now. they're all gonna change every time i update, the rating is gonna go up and more people are gonna turn up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-15 22:09:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3463895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cachu/pseuds/cachu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <br/>
    <i>Sweetheart, did you bring me any silver?</i>
    <br/>
    <i>Sweetheart, did you bring me any gold?</i>
    <br/>
    <i>Honey did you come to see me</i>
    <br/>
    <i>Hangin' from the gallows pole?</i>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>---</p>
</div><br/>or the story of how even in the most morbid and unusual of surroundings Makoto and Haruka can always find each other and make everything worthwhile.
            </blockquote>





	hangman

ˈpɑːtʃm(ə)nt/  
noun: parchment  
_a stiff, flat, thin material made from the prepared skin of an animal, usually a sheep or goat, and used as a durable writing surface in ancient and medieval times._

\--- 

Makoto Tachibana had made plans.

Long-winded and heavily detailed plans for his life. 

He knew it wouldn’t be easy; for starters, he had to successfully leave school and enroll at university. Then, from there, he would meet the love of his life, who he would marry, of course. And from there onwards Makoto saw nothing but blue skies, giggling children and white picket fences. He could see himself waving at friendly neighbours, whose names he probably wouldn’t know, as he held a briefcase, necessary for his future career. Though, Makoto wasn’t sure what career that would be…

And besides, that was just what Makoto saw, it seems whatever deity or force existed in the world had other plans for him, his own crumpled and tossed in their favour.

The snow broke away from his boot in hard, cold, muddy clumps as he kicked against the stone step, his mother would give him hell if he walked through the house like this. Makoto stopped kicking for a moment to frown, it was his mother that had sent him out for stupid ‘essentials’ in the first place. 

“I don’t see how bread is an essential,” he grumbled, opting to tug his boots off and leave them outside, it wasn’t worth the earache. “I can’t even remember the last time I ate bread…” The left boot resisted slightly and in tugging it off he almost ended up toppling over into the snow, but kept his balance by ungracefully hopping. 

Boots off and discarded on top of a rose bush, Makoto stepped inside.

“I’m home!” The brunet began shedding his many winter layers; they were nothing but a stuffy inconvenience now he was back in the warmth of his well kept home.

“Ma?” He tugged the scarf free from his throat and shrugged off his coat and for a moment he waited, but still got no answer. Frowning, he walked around, glancing into rooms for signs of life, yet came up short. With a growing sense of worry bubbling up in his gut, he haphazardly tossed the ‘essential’ bread into the kitchen, teeth worrying at his lip. 

A broad hand coursed through and disturbed sandy locks and after snapping his fingers a few times, Makoto opted to check upstairs, reasoning that if she was up there she was probably sick or something and the thought hardly comforted him but it somewhat eased his turning nerves. 

As the teenager turned to pass through the dining room, he jumped slightly. Both his parents were sat there, his mother at the head of the table and his father to her right. Both were still and silent, there was a distant look in his mother’s eyes and something heavy hung in the room, something Makoto had yet to pick up on.

“Ma? Ma, I was calling you, I got your essential bread,” it was only when he set eyes on his father, who held his mother’s hand in a vice like grip on the table top, did he frown, feeling the unease creep back into his gut, “Pa? W-Why are you home?” 

Again, his mother didn’t answer, however when Makoto spoke, her hand clamped down harder around his father’s, trembling with the exertion. 

“Makoto, you’re back…” His father finally answered,

“Y-Yeah, I’ve been back a while…” Makoto didn’t feel it appropriate to mention how he’d been calling them, or how he felt a little betrayed and scared that his mother was still ignoring him. Something was clearly wrong and his own feelings and worries didn’t seem to matter anymore. “It’s no big deal…”

His father smiled at him, though it looked tired and like it took effort he didn’t have. 

Something churned uneasily in Makoto’s gut, it was a sense of fear, carelessly tossing around inside him and at the same time a small flame of worry ignited, steadily growing until the two collided into an explosion of full blown panic. The sensation raced throughout his body, jerking him violently into action and speech.

Harshly, he grabbed at the chair opposite his father, yanking it back and all but falling into it, slamming his hands –albeit, harder than he had intended to do – on the table, he steadied himself before talking.

“What’s happened?” His father went to reply, but Makoto’s sharp intake of breath silenced him, it seemed his son wasn’t finished. “W-Where’s Ran and Ren? Ran and Ren, a-are they okay?!” 

With his free hand, Mr. Tachibana reached out to him, ceasing his son’s talking and slightly easing his breathing.

“They’re okay, Makoto, they’re with your grandparents – who are also okay.” Emerald eyes frantically danced between his fathers comforting gaze and the distant, unresponsive one of his mother. 

“Ma?” The word was whispered, falling from his lips as he slowly placed a hand on her arm. The woman jerked, jumping as though Makoto’s touch had electrocuted her or caused her some sort of pain like she’d been struck, but he kept his hand there and slowly, agonisingly slowly, she turned her head to him.

“Makoto,” her voice was quiet, had Ran and Ren been in the house it would have been impossible to hear her, she spoke slowly and with a smile, though it was no more lively than his fathers, “you’re home.”

Makoto breathed a laugh and smiled shakily back, “Yeah, hey, I’m here. I’m home.” He grew bolder with every syllable she spoke to him, safe in the knowledge he was no longer being ignored or his mother had completely detached herself, he reached up to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. She merely blinked at him.

Swallowing, Makoto pressed a little more, “Ma, what’s wrong? Has something happened?” 

Surprisingly, her reaction was calm, tame, as though she’d never intended to hide something from him. It was as though whatever the problem was was bigger than her and Makoto had to know. Mrs. Tachibana took a deep breath and removed her hand from the safe grip of her husband’s; she reached down into her lap and pulled a piece of paper from it. 

From the looks of it, the document had clearly been through hell and back, though Makoto could barely make out today’s date at the top, it was crumpled and creased, slightly torn in one corner. Both he and his mother treated it like it was something far more dangerous than its outward appearance, she slid it towards him and was quick to reclaim his father’s hand, anchoring herself. 

Makoto had often considered himself curious, he’d had many a trip to the doctor to help back him up, yet this feeling didn’t seem to come into play right now, he dreaded what was written on this page more than he anticipated it. 

With deceptively steady hands, he straightened it out and read it over once.

Twice.

Thrice. 

In spite of how hard he focused on the print, how many times he closed his eyes and re opened them or how many different orders he created to read the letter, the words and its message did not change. Slowly, his voice rolled up in his throat,

“Marines?” When he looked up, his mother’s eyes were heavy, thickly covered in tears she refused to be shedding, though it seemed the task was growing more difficult. “Pa, they can’t put you in the marines! Don’t they know about your heart? It’s impossible for you to do this!”

Makoto was more annoyed than he was scared. His father’s irregular heartbeat wasn’t exactly a family demon, but it was serious enough that he had never been approached to do military service. The brunet tossed the paper back down onto the table; they’d take one look at his father and send him straight home. Simple as that.

“They know about my heart, son.” Mr. Tachibana said and when Makoto’s brows furrowed together, he sighed.

“So, what’s the problem? You just have to go and tell them, then this whole thing goes away.” Makoto laughed and sat back, “God, you guys had me worried!”

“Makoto.” Behind the trembling and thickness in her throat, his mother’s tone was still serious; “They’re sending a member of this family to form the reinforcement wave. They didn’t specify your father.”

“Huh? W-What are-”

“You, Makoto!” Mrs. Tachibana’s head jerked to face her son, her tone was uncharacteristically snappy, thought that meant little in light of the tears that were falling freely in rivulets down her cheeks. “They’re sending you.”

“Me?..” the word was so quiet that for a moment Makoto was unsure if he’d actually said it or if it was merely a loud thought. The solemn nod he got in reply was like a punch to the gut. 

Makoto was never one for causing a scene, he wasn’t the kind of person who demanded his own feelings be taken into account when something happened, and now was no different. His mother was crying and the guilt etched over his father’s face was enough, they didn’t need the extra baggage of Makoto’s tears or trembling hands, he clenched his fists and stood up slowly. 

“W-Well, if they need me…” he kept his voice low for fear if he spoke any louder they’d hear his fear, “I mean… everyone has to do their bit, right?”

In a trance, he walked around the table. He tried to reassuringly squeeze his mother’s shoulder, but his grip didn’t work and it merely slipped from her. Again, he clenched his fist, desperate to keep himself together. 

“Makoto? Makoto, where are you going?” His father was hardly being accusatory, he sounded scared more than anything. Both of his parents had clearly expected quite a different reaction, to see Makoto calmly walking through the house unnerved them more than it reassured them. 

His parents, however, couldn’t see that his legs had gone numb, that he felt sick and burning in his throat, that his head felt heavy with the exertion of holding back his sobbing. 

“Gonna – going to bed. I’ll be back for… for dinner.” His words slurred and unceremoniously tumbled together as he said them, forming more of a noise than an answer. 

“Makoto.” His mother reached out to him and he felt her hand catch and his shirt, but her grip was loose and fell as he walked from the room without turning back or saying anything further. 

Makoto’s legs gave up on him when he got into his room; he fell heavily backwards against the wall, collapsing further to the floor. There was a dull thrumming throughout his body, but it hardly registered amidst his other frantic thoughts. 

So frantic they were that it took a moment for his mind to realise that he was frightened and upset, the realisation came like a slap and tore a loud, broken sob from his throat. 

Then another. 

Soon, he was crying, sat on his floor with his legs pulled up to his chest. The tears were hot and dampened his face and his hands when he tried to swipe them away, desperately he tried to catch his breath, but every inhale just unleashes a fresh onslaught of tears.

This is pathetic, is what he muses to himself. It’s not as though there’s anything he can do, every family is required to do at least one form of military service and Makoto knows, deep down, he’d rather it be himself than anybody else. Even if Ren were old enough, Makoto would still raise his hand to take his place. If he refuses the Tachibana name will be dragged through the mud for the foreseeable future and then some, even worse, his family could be punished for it. 

There was no denying the guilt his father felt at being unable to go, he’d come home from the first day of signing up and locked himself away. Though, it paled in comparison to the guilt Makoto felt, he’d hidden away, carried on with school and life as though nothing was happening, he’d never volunteered to fight and he’d never even brought it up. He was a coward. If he didn’t go now, who knew the shame it would bring upon his family. 

But, wars weren’t as exciting as they used to be. They no longer offered an opportunity for people to go and ‘kill bad guys’ or have a vacation to exotic places with a large group of friends and not be punished for it. People back home were all too aware of the hardships and bloodshed that war brought, no matter how much people tried to hide it or gloss over it. 

Makoto was barely ready to leave home, the thought of him being forced to leave home and possibly never return had him almost howling out in agony. 

It had only been two weeks and three days since he’d turned seventeen and they’d already asked for him. Things must have been worse than even the public could imagine if the demand for reinforcements was so strong and insistent. 

But, Makoto would go.

He would go to cease the mocking of his family. 

He would go to ease the strain on those who had been out there since the beginning, almost seven months ago.

And he would go because he had to. 

***

Despite what he’d told his parents earlier, Makoto didn’t come down for dinner. 

He didn’t open the door for Ran and Ren when they came bounding up to it, pounding insistently. Though, he did talk to them through the wood, laughing when Ren relives the story of how he almost fell in the lake, he smiled throughout the story about their day, especially when Ran tells him about the flower crown she’d made for him, but the snow had killed all the flowers so it wasn’t ‘all that pretty anyway’. 

“I bet it was beautiful,” Makoto laughed,

“Well, I did make it, so yeah, it was pretty cool.” Ran announced, confidently, “Hey, Makoto?”

“Hm?” Makoto caught sight of their shuffling shadows underneath the door.

“Ma says you’re sick…”

Makoto swallowed, “Yeah, it’s nothing bad! Just… can’t have you two getting sick when there’s all that snow to play in, can we? So, just leave me here to lay in the dark!” he declared dramatically, achieving his desired effect when he hears his brother and sister giggle outside. 

“You’re so embarrassing…” Ren mumbled fondly, Makoto chuckled at that.

“Are you gonna be better for tomorrow?” 

“T-Tomorrow?”

“Yeah! Ma says tomorrow you’re going away, I asked her where to and she just said it was the same place Kama’s brother went to in summer,” Makoto nodded, regardless of the fact they cannot see him. He remembered that day, Kama’s family had been very proud to be the first in the village to send a boy off to the war. Whenever Kama came over to play with Ran, she’d tell her all the things he’d wrote about, what he’d seen and done, whilst Ran would merely nod along. It had broke Makoto’s heart that she didn’t have stories like that to tell, she didn’t have a big brother to be proud of. 

And even with him going off tomorrow, he still doubted whether he’d do anything that warranted pride or recognition. 

“Yeah, Ran, that’s where I’m going.”

“It’s a bit soon, isn’t it?” That was Ren, always the more pragmatic of the two.

“Not really,” Makoto lied, he hadn’t even considered how close tomorrow actually was. He’d wasted his last day with his family locked up in his room wallowing in self-pity; he almost choked at the thought, “and you two, you’re okay with me going?”

“Yeah!” was their united, chipper answer, 

“I can’t wait to tell people at school about all the cool stuff you do!”

The oldest of the three laughed, but it was dry and held no merit. 

“Well,” Ran’s voice had fell distant, “we’ll let you sleep, Makoto. Wake us up before you go tomorrow, okay? I wanna hug you and stuff.” She giggled,

“Me too! Me too!” 

Swallowing the heavy lump in his throat was almost Makoto’s undoing, but he vowed not to waste one more second in his own mind.

“Hey, hold up.” He faltered slightly getting to his feet, but ignored it and flung open his door, the light of the house almost blinding him, but he blinked it away. “Are you two going to bed now?”

“Yeah, ma told us to come say goodnight first, though…” Ran was swaying slightly on her heels, clearly unphased and Ren too, he stood beside his sister, smiling, both their worlds still in tact. 

Makoto wanted to drive his fist into the nearest wall, hoping it would quell the anger burning in his gut. Angry at himself for letting today slip away, he wished his parents hadn’t respected his space and his need to be alone, he’d rather have had them drag him from his room kicking and screaming. He should have spent the evening with Ran and Ren and now he wouldn’t see them until he was leaving them. He was the absolute worst big brother ever.

“I’ll take you guys to bed, c’mon.”

The twins shared a look, grinning from ear to ear before checking back with Makoto, ensuring he wasn’t fooling them, but his face was set and genuine and with an excited, bubbling giggle, they both turned and bolted to their room, Makoto in tow. 

“Do you think it will be sunny where you’re going?” Ran asked, shuffling down further under her blanket, 

“I haven’t thought about that,” Makoto answered honestly, smiling slightly, “I hope so.” 

“Really?” Ren piped up, leaning out of his own bed slightly to partake better in the conversation, “You get all freckley in the sun,” Ran laughed and Makoto merely gaped at both of them, a laugh of disbelief escaping him.

“I used to, when I was your age… maybe even younger! That doesn’t happen now.” 

“Sure…” Ran smirked, hiding it behind her cover when Makoto turned to face her with mockingly threatening narrowed eyes. 

He heard Ren yawn deeply behind him and reality came crashing back down, he could and would stay here until sunrise talking to his brother and sister, but it wasn’t fair on them, as far as they were concerned everything was staying the same and Makoto would be back with hundreds of stories in less than a year. Who was he to shatter such comforting beliefs?

“Alright, you two. I’m leaving early tomorrow,” a weight began to grow behind his eyes, like hell was he crying now, “So you’d better sleep if you want to see me off.”

In almost perfect synchronicity they nodded quickly before burying themselves under their blankets, closing their eyes tightly and waiting for sleep to claim them quickly. Makoto fell into routine after that, switching off unnecessary lights and ensuring feet were safely tucked away. 

He kissed Ran first, a lingering press of lips to her temple before he rested his forehead there, twirling her hair around his finger. 

“You are going to have so many stories to tell,” he mumbled, “I am going to do so many amazing things… or at least, I hope I am.” he breathed a laugh and begrudgingly pulled away, allowing his sister sleep as he went to their brother. 

Makoto brushed Ren’s unruly chestnut locks away from his forehead, brushing his thumb over the skin for a moment,

“I’m glad it’s not you. I mean that, I’d go a million times over if it meant you could stay here. Pa’s going to come to you now when he needs something building or painting, you’re second in command now, buddy. You’ve got to look after ma and Ran for me, alright? And don’t let pa lift anything heavy, no matter how much he says he can handle it.” Makoto chuckled slightly; embarrassed at the speech that seemed to come from nowhere and the tear he felt slipping down his cheek.

Quickly, he kissed his brother’s forehead, eyes shut tight to stop any more tears falling and disturbing the others’ sleep. 

Realising he was stalling and just making himself more upset, Makoto briskly stood, walking from the room and shutting the door behind him. He held the handle tightly and rested his forehead against the wood, allowing himself a few pitiful sobs before pushing away. Frantically, he dragged the back of his hand over his eyes and took a few deep breaths. 

He was done crying over this. Crying over things he couldn’t change was futile anyway and his parents would hate to see him this way. Confident that he was calm and collected, Makoto turned and headed downstairs to wherever his parents may be. 

He found them in the study, both of them occupied with reading their respective materials. 

“Ran and Ren are asleep,” he mumbled, stepping into the room. The moment his mother saw him she was on her feet, crossing the room towards him, but Makoto wanted to keep things normal, even if it does only last a few seconds. “It sounded like they had fun today…”

His mother faltered slightly, but still approached him, gently taking his face in her hand, stroking his cheek slightly. 

“Are you alright?” She questioned bluntly and Makoto laughs,

“Me? Yeah. Yeah, I’m – I’m okay, Ma. Really.” Her eyes continued to flit over him, brows coming together, hoping his expression will tell her something his mouth will not, but he’s quick to speak again, “Really. I’ve been thinking a lot and I’m going over there to help and that’s not entirely a bad thing, is it?”

For the first time that day, his mother smiled sincerely at him, it was soft and albeit a little watery but that was overlooked when he saw the genuine pride in her eyes.

“No, Makoto. That’s not a bad thing at all.” 

The taller boy averted his gaze to the floor, “Anyway, I just came down to say goodnight. I have an early start tomorrow and-” His voice cracked and he clenched his eyes closed, ceasing talking and making things worse. He felt a gentle hand card through his hair and a gentle kiss settle upon his head.

“Perhaps some sleep would be best,” Mrs. Tachibana whispered to him, continuing to caress and hold his face in her delicate touch. 

“I’ll wake up early, okay? W-We can spend the morning together, all four of us and, I don’t know, we could--.”

“Makoto.” His father spoke from behind them and they both turned to look at him, “Everything will be okay, go to sleep. Tomorrow’s a new day, remember?” 

Makoto gave a trembling smile and a tight nod before backing away slightly, gearing up to leave.

“I love you both,” the words seem to tumble involuntarily from his lips, but he doesn’t seem to regret them, his eyes are set firm. “I really do. So much.”

Mrs. Tachibana chuckles, waving her hand dismissively, clearly also trying to keep things normal, “We know, Makoto. And we love you too…” she inhaled sharply and used her hands to dismiss him, “Now, go! Sleep!”

Makoto catches her wiping her eyes as he turns to leave, but says nothing.

Doing exactly as he’s told, he climbed into bed, staring at his ceiling with his hands locked behind his head. 

Sleep doesn’t claim him for hours and even when it does it’s broken and fitful, plagued with images of gunfire and desolate landscapes.

Plagued with images of the inevitable.

**Author's Note:**

> .... damn, major bummer for Makoto.
> 
> Don't worry, I know it's a war AU but not everything is bad for these guys.  
> Things start to pick up and move quicker from the next chapter when I introduce more characters and whatnot. 
> 
> uh, yeah, I'm really looking forward to this AU? We shall see how this all pans out~
> 
> [@gagareki](https://twitter.com/gagareki) // beta'd by the great [ariannemartellz](http://ariannemartellz.tumblr.com/)


End file.
